Choose people who choose you!
YOU ARE PRICELESS
So precious that your immeasurable value
can not be determined by anyone.
You are a treasure beyond compare,
irreplaceable, and unparalleled by any other,
and are to be cherished.
You are a rare jewel just waiting to be discovered! Doesn’t that feel amazing? Our body image is a choice. Did I always look at myself with love? HECK NO! I chose to self-abuse, self-hate, and self-destroy for most of my life. The moment people cut us down, we for some reason believe them. And we re-tell that stupid lie and begin to add onto it for years and years. Choose to speak differently to yourself. Speak as if the most beautiful, powerful, most amazing person that you have ever looked up to painted or sculpted something that was priceless beyond measure, beautiful beyond compare, one-of-a-kind, from their heart, and presented it to the whole world, made just for you, would you stand there insulting their technique, their style? NO! You would treasure it!
TREASURE YOURSELF –
You ARE that work of art!
So, lately, I’ve been having dreams about exes. Ex-friends, ex-boyfriends, ex-family members, ex-business partners, ex-teammates, ex-bosses and so on. I’m a very vivid dreamer as it is already but these have had more and more meaning. In each dream, they wanted me back. And as our minds play tricks on us about our ex’s wanting us back, and it being the happiest moment ever like in the movies, it’s not. In each dream when I would get to the epic scene with the music the moment we all think will be grand… it was more like a scratch in the record and a “Wait a minute, something isn’t right”. Which is how it usually goes in real life. The moment when your inner voice says “This does not feel right. They didn’t choose me. They let ME go. That was their choice. Not mine. But I have the power right now to choose me or allow them to hurt me again. Which will it be.”
People don’t get to choose when they come in and out of our lives. WE DO. Don’t let them give you the runaround. You are worth more than that! If they didn’t choose us once, they will not choose us again. And if we choose to ignore that little voice inside, we will always have that “Look over your shoulder, don’t trust them” voice in our minds. Then WHEN not if, but when, they don’t choose us, again… We beat ourselves up. No relationship can exist in its full capacity if trust is not there. So, inevitably, when the time comes around and they don’t choose us again, it feels like a serious punch in the self-worth Gut!
Let’s go ahead and take that “Self-Worth Gut” off the table forever.
There are two major things we need to know here.
First off… Our self-worth DOES NOT, and CAN NOT come from another human! When we give that human our power they can, and will destroy us with it. We are limited to their mood swings, their own self-worth issues, and whatever other elements that are in their control! Eeekkkk! Take it back! We know they have self-worth issues because they wouldn’t need your heart, they would be whole on their own.
Let’s imagine our self-worth is our heart.
When we depend on another to measure, fulfill or define our self- worth, it is like handing our hearts to another person in hopes that they will take care of it. Guess what, they simply won’t, they can’t. Hearts are a huge responsibility and no one can handle more than one! Even if they start out with the best intentions, that person and ANY person will ALWAYS choose their own heart first. Our hearts are our lifelines and our self-worth is our heart. Protect it. Keep it inside its own strong-box!
If you are a deeply spiritual person like me, then you will know, and even may have forgotten, that our self-worth comes from the fact that someone greater than all of us, hand-shaped and carefully molded our very being. He took His time and squeezed out my little button nose. He took his pinky and made my belly button into a super innie! He even took the care to put little dimples on my shoulders which not many other people have. He graced me with deep green, ever-changing eyes which reveal my soul to others in an instant! He made my legs long and my torso short, and my butt round! He even shaped my tiny flat feet just for me. He made me the PERFECT Masterpiece according to what I needed to fulfill my own purpose! He made me… ME! Now, if someone took the time so shape me exactly perfect, the way I needed to be, then I’d say my worth is beyond compare. That I am priceless, wouldn’t you? So are you!
Secondly… let’s be nerdy for a minute… Statistically, Only 1 in 100 people are YOUR PEOPLE. Only 1 in 100 people will choose you. Ouch, you might think… especially if you’re allergic to rejection like I used to be. But, statistically, when the other 99 people don’t choose you, it’s NOT REJECTION, ITS A GIFT! They are getting out of the way for the next 1 to come along. Thank them and keep going! Turn all your past rejections into gratitude, realize they were blessings in disguise, but now our eyes are opened and we can start flagging people by like a dancing crossing guard!
They were not using our self-worth guts as a punching bag after all! Isn’t that freeing! Those people simply weren’t our people. They are someone else’s! And if we want to think about it a little deeper… we are super jerks for trying to steal someone else’s person, right? Do the world a favor and let them go find their home. Because it isn’t here with us.
Today in yoga class as the end was coming and we were laying in savasana. I was just looking deep within myself- which is a really cool place these days now that I’ve kicked all the monsters and bullies out… and thinking about all these dreams I’ve been having. And how they relate to the wall of rejection/abandonment that I’ve been working so hard to break down. And all at once it came to me.
They didn’t choose me because they weren’t my people.
But also I realized that…
I didn’t choose me…
Ouch, all these years I have put everyone else first, and I mean everyone. I probably needed to volunteer at volunteering anonymous! I had a real problem. I was trying to prove my worth to anyone who would pay attention… which lead to a major exhaustion, so many health problems, and quite a few embarrassing meltdowns and eventually giving up. I was being taken advantage of, used up and thrown aside, by everyone it seemed. I felt so abandoned and so alone, no one even talked to me without needing something. I realized they weren’t my friends I was their slave. They only used me for whatever they needed and went on to the next person, like a leech sucking its host dry and moving on. I’m realizing now that they didn’t choose me, they used me, and I didn’t choose me either, and let them. I was running around desperately handing my heart to anyone that would take it and became their slave. All because I didn’t choose me. And I needed to prove my worth to them, to anyone, because it didn’t come from within.
They owned me.
So long as they held my heart they owned me. When they were finished they would just drop it in the dirt and move on. Pretty sure some did a burn out on it as they left too! I’d be left alone again and have to nurse it back to health over and over again. What a vicious and exhausting cycle. Does this sound familiar to you? I’m only realizing it now that they were just searching for their people too.
So instead of anger and resentment,
I send them love and forgiveness
in this moment, because
they were only searching too.
Take a moment and do the same. Forgive and release them to find their people. Also, spend some time in reflection and meditation to go around and visually forgive each person and visualize them gently giving you back your heart. Lovingly receive it back, in both hands, and carefully cleanse it of all the things that don’t serve you, washing away anger, resentment, and pain and put it back inside of you, each part growing your self-worth within where it should be.
Each heart adding back another layer of strength, compassion, kindness, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, forgiveness, and self-control.
Dive deeper inside and scan your body or go look at yourself in the mirror, and thank God above for every nook and cranny, treasure every dimple and love curve, find ways to increase your love for every part of your body, inside and out. Nothing is ugly, nothing is broken, nothing is embarrassing. Everything is a beautiful, priceless one-of-a-kind work of art. Recognize each and every part in gratitude and love. Be grateful for every part that He very carefully molded in love for just you.
Appreciate the masterpiece He made you to be. Own it in Love. Do this over and over until you find no wrongs within yourself. Say loving words such as, I am thankful for my strong legs who carry me where I need to go, I am in awe of my arms who carry my load. I am grateful for my back who is strong and keeps me going, I love my feet who are always there to take me. Pay special attention to the parts you once didn’t love so much. Ask them for forgiveness. Imagine if they were gone! Be grateful for them. All of them. Even your fluffy parts.
“I am thankful that I have enjoyed and experienced wonderful food, made beautiful memories with beautiful people, Created beautiful children and had time to rest. I am grateful to my body for protecting me from things hurting me. I am sorry that I didn’t take better care of some things and thankful that my body will forgive me and help me become a better caretaker from this moment forward. My self-worth now comes from within, and I am as priceless as rubies, as of today, I will start living as such. Today I choose me. I choose to eat, move, live, and love and take care of myself like someone who chose me. I will surround my life with people who choose me, too.” Whatever you need for you, these are just some examples that I do.
THERE IS NO OTHER AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU.
YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND!
And most of all CHOOSE YOU!
Stop being a slave to others, you have your own power back now. Your heart is in its rightful home. You can start using all this new-found energy to fulfill that purpose that God made you just like He did to fulfill. You have your own light to shine! SHINE IT! Get out there and blind some people! If your light makes their light shine brighter then those are your folks, If it makes them run away, then they aren’t. And that’s ok. Every time you feel discouraged, abandoned or rejected to say to yourself…
That’s ok, they aren’t my people.
And, I’m getting closer to those who are!
Lastly… Find your people. If you want ten awesome people, then you need to weed through one thousand people to find them. If you want one hundred awesome people, then go through ten thousand to find them. The bigger your circle is, the more amazing people you will have in your life and the most amazing things will come out of it! Pretend it’s a scavenger hunt. When you find YOUR people, you won’t feel the need to give your heart to them, because the glow from theirs feeds yours and vice versa! There is no give and take, it’s just a constant flow, in all directions at once, and it’s beautiful. Feel the connection, don’t force it. You will know when it’s right!
So, I leave you to your hunt! Find those peoples whose souls light fires with yours. If you feel connected to me, please reach out! <3