When we complain we put ourselves in the Victim mindset.
Speaking with Joy in Gratitude, Peace, and Love
Takes back our power!
Did you know it takes more energy to complain than to just fix the problem? It’s a negative, non-renewing energy that we are using to complain. It is NOT a natural energy, it doesn’t refill us or give us more energy like laughter, love, happiness, and peace do automatically. Those things multiply our energy in an instant. We can tell the difference by how you feel after… In love we are floating, in complaining, we are dragging the bottom, we feel completely drained. Then we search for someone else to fire us up. We feel the need to find someone else to complain to so that we can be refilled, but we have to find just the right person who will feed into our complaints so that we are justified, and again and again we have to do the work to tell the story, to make it bigger and bigger, then start looking for really bad things to complain about and its all an exhausting vicious cycle we stick ourselves in. When truthfully we can all just fix the problem in one shot with a renewing energy source such as love, peace, happiness, joy and move on to much happier, healthier pattern — using energy renewing behaviors.
Placing blame on others takes away our power!
Blaming someone else has never solved anything. Taking responsibility, however, does. We are completely 100% responsible for everything (that is our part) from the time we are old enough to make decisions. I know, that idea makes some people angry and I get yelled at plenty for it. But… after the rant is over and I hear them out I ask them to hear me out as well and by the end, everyone agrees, that we all had some part in everything that has ever happened to us. I also try to express to apply this responsibility for all the good things that has happened for us as well.
Thousands of decisions that each of us made
has lead us to this moment, right here, right now.
I would like to try the exercise with you that I do with the people I coach and let’s see if we can’t shine some light on things and give everyone the opportunity, the responsibility, the option to… take back their power!
- Write down an event in your life, good or bad.
- Write down all the choices it took to get there.
- How many of your choices led to this event?
- What could you have done differently to change this event to a different outcome?
- If this event were to never happen, would you be who are or where you are today?
- What can you do to change this event into a better one, to Take action?
- What has this event taught you? How has it made you a better person?
So let’s assume you chose a bad event… as unfortunately most people generally focus on the bad… to their own demise… FOCUS ON THE GOOD! But, there are plenty of posts already on that subject here already. Today we are talking about responsibility for our actions.
So, for example… You wrote a bad job, or a bad relationship for number one. You made a lot of choices to get to that point right? You chose to go on the date, or interview, you chose to go again, you choose it every day to stay there, correct? Every day it’s a choice, to go back or find better. That covers two and three.
Four focuses on what actions we could have taken and what actions to make sure we take next time. So, for this one, in the bad job or relationship example, we could have noticed the signs, we could have paid attention to the abuse of whatever it may be when it started. We could pinpoint the moment we realized we were being taken for granted, or cheated on, or whatever it is for you. We could have changed the course before it got “this bad” and started looking for other options, applying for better jobs with better bosses, co-workers, or a company with integrity. Looking for a new roommate, new apartment, a new opportunity far away if needed. We could have done loads of things to change this outcome. And we can use this is an amazing learning opportunity!
Next time we will pay attention better won’t we, we will notice the signs and not excuse them away. But, let’s not only focus on the bad, here. Numbers five, six and seven remind us to think of the good. This person or job made us wiser, stronger, brave. And once we are out of it, we will be able to help someone else who’s in it to be brave.
Number six makes us focus on how can we make the situation we are in even better? What part do we play in the tension, the aggravation, the stress? What can we do to make it a better situation, until we find something better? How can we bring happiness, joy, love, and peace to the situation? Everyone deserves to be happy and that choice comes from within – Circumstances or outside forces are not a factor.
Cause it really pisses the bullies off!
And number seven leaves us with the lesson. We should look back at every event, good or bad, and find the lesson in it. If our parents were nightmares, or bosses, our partners, be thankful for them. Be thankful that they gave us the bravery, the strength, the fight inside to want better, do more, to get out, to be better. Be thankful that you were the one who had to deal with it, because you saved someone else from it, someone who might not have been as strong as you were. You took one for the team, that makes you a hero. These things will only help you to be stronger and a better hero later on. Each lesson is an opportunity to do better in the future. And if we learn the lessons, we will not be repeating the patterns. Turn your story and make it your foundation of strength.
We can either allow our problems to crush us
or we can stand on them as our foundation of strength!
Remove the Victim mentality from every situation you have used it in your life. A Victim mentality does not serve you. Take back your power! It is your responsibility and NO ONE ELSES FAULT! Take back your power! Stop allowing others to drive your life! There’s only one driver of this awesome ride and it is you! <3