I have always been one of those people that anyone can talk to and I do my best to help, an “insta-friend” type of person. Through this, I have helped many people see some better options within their lives and have helped them to build belief within themselves and see the amazingness inside that is already there yet they have been hiding it. change their mindset. With the hundreds of people I have had the privilege to counsel with, the one thing that everyone has in common is the dreaded invisible “Chip”.
This tiny invisible thing is what is holding them back from everything their hearts desire. It seems to be the biggest sabotager of all things good in everyone’s life if they allow it, of course, most do. I really feel it’s a lack of awareness and knowledge within, and work to show them that there is a better way. What is your chip? Do you know? Everyone has them, some have several. How do we keep that chip on our shoulders from destroying us?
Awareness is key.
Chips make us think and act defensively and negatively, they destroy relationships, jobs, friendships, families, marriages, and most importantly the relationship within ourselves, which is where all relationships begin. Thoughts become actions. Allowing the chips to have control of our lives at any time is a guaranteed disaster. Chips tend to make us act crazy, and that can really hurt our progress, our relationships, our lives.
Think of the movie Beauty and the Beast, the beast is the perfect example of how, someone who has a chip on their shoulder behaves. He is exactly what we look like when we carry it. Grouchy, grumbly, feeling undeserving and therefore blocking all forms of love and good things! Once the beast dropped the chip, his whole life turned around, he got the girl, he won her heart by softening his own.
What hearts can you win by softening your own?
The thing is… He allowed the chip on his shoulder create the life he feared the most. He acted as if the end result was already the truth, instead of solving the problem, making sure that his fear didn’t happen. He had already given up before Belle came around. And even when his friends tried to tell him that maybe “she’s the one” he shut it down because he didn’t believe. He had lived under his chip so long that He didn’t leave room for another option!
Identify your chip!
When you recognize the chip chiming into your life, change what he is telling you! Imagine him instead as the cute little Chip from Beauty and the Beast. This Chip isn’t mean, he isn’t fearful, he isn’t guarded, hurt, or angry at the world! He is sweet, he is kind, he is adventurous. He is telling you that you are amazing, he is looking at the world in wonder and amazement. He is trying to make friends where ever he goes with a kind heart and kind spirit of compassion and love. He is always cheering you on and lifting you up in every way. He is asking why you thought those mean old thoughts about yourself, and why you are thinking them about others!
Change your chip,
Change your life!
Why do we hold onto old stale chips that destroy us?
Some chips may bring up ghosts or fears from the past and continually put them inside our head as a possible future, or making them become our future! Simply by making us live as though that outcome is inevitable, therefore making us create it ourselves! EEKKK!
Chips can be something someone said or a way someone made you feel, how someone treated you. That moment only lasted a moment but we are allowing it to keep replaying, re-punishing us for YEARS!! WHY!?! Recognize that the little whispers in your ear, lying to you, telling you that you are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, not worth it, that no one could love you… ARE LIES! WE ARE ENOUGH! Why are we listening to that BS?
We all have them. We must identify them to get rid of them. We must pay attention to everything we are thinking or feeling. We must know the difference, is something the “chip” or it is the reality. It will not be both. Learn how to separate the two.
If we allow stale chips from the past to control our future… we just end up looking bad, We come out looking, jealous, angry, paranoid, insincere, uncaring, selfish, protective, defensive, control freaks, prideful, stupid and worse. This chip is not our friend. Bad chips are like ticks, they get fatter and fatter the more they feed, they are sucking the life out of you and breeding and creating more chips. You can stop it! You choose to feed it, or not. You choose to allow it to breed, or not. The Chip is nothing but a destroyer.
The key is to recognize the Chips in your life and remove or replace them. Every time you replace bad thoughts with good ones you are making the bad chip smaller and smaller. And your life will grow and grow. Rip them off or replace them. You are MORE THAN enough!
P.S. I challenge you to watch Beauty and the Beast and Find everyone’s “chip”. In doing so find which chips you carry as well.
Here are some chips we came up with…And you may see something different than us. 🙂
Gaston’s Chip: Inferiority. He feels inferior, so he acts self-important and self-absorbed, narcissistic. He is trying to prove he is enough to everyone when the only one who needs to think so is himself.
Mrs. Pots’s Chip: Unworthiness Someone made her feel unimportant. She has become so focused on serving others, and so busy taking care of everyone else that she leaves nothing left for herself. Eventually taking care of everyone else becomes the “excuse” to not taking care of oneself. Vicious Cycle.
Truth BOMB: You can’t take care of others if you are broken down, if you truly have a heart of serving, you should know that you must take care of you to be able to take better care of others. You are worth taking care of as well. Don’t forget it!
Cogsworth’s Chip: Shame. Someone made him feel stupid. So in turn, he has a superiority complex. He feels the need to seem intelligent to make himself feel superior. To prove his own worth.
Belles Father’s Chip: Grief. He is full of worry, sorrow and doing his best to take care of belle and give her everything knowing her mother is gone he tries to do it all himself.
Belle’s Chip: Guilt. She feels responsible for her father because she feels he is lost without his wife. She has to hide and compromise her own happiness to try to help her father. She doesn’t realize that her own happiness IS what would make her father happiest of all. We have all done that. Lost our happiness to try to make another happy. When it really makes no one happy at all.
The best way to make others happy,
is to be happy yourself
Beasts Chip: Unforgiveness. He thinks he “deserves” to be the unhappy beast for things of the past. Because he doesn’t forgive himself, he believes he does not “deserve” to be happy again. He has to forgive himself and allow himself to love and be loved. He doesn’t feel worthy because he is angry within. He has to forgive the old woman as well. Which is much easier than forgiving oneself.
We all can spot a little of all the chips inside of us I’m sure. What can we do to change the Chips or remove them entirely?
Control your fear, don’t be your fear. – BetterMeTribe
[…] that I am well qualified to talk about because I have lived with it for most of my life. On the BMT post on the 26th of May, there was a discussion about chips… well… fear was my chip. From as young as I can remember, I wouldn’t say boo to a […]
“Bad chips are like ticks, they get fatter and fatter the more they feed, they are sucking the life out of you and breeding and creating more chips.”
– This is such an apt description. We cannot ignore our ‘chips’, or they will drain us of time, energy, and life.
My chip is certainly shame and not taking well enough care of myself. I feel shamed even though no one is shaming me, because of trying to do to much for too many while not doing enough for myself.
“WE ARE ENOUGH!”
– we are enough every day, we can do our best everyday, we can BE our best everyday. The only time is now, the only place is here. We are enough for our loving and forgiving God and Creator; we are enough for ourselves.
Take care, be well, and stay safe.