Think about how must stronger this planet would be if we used our words to build up, to strengthen, to bless others as Scripture calls us to do.
Words are the most powerful and dangerous of all weapons, they leave invisible scars and wounds that never heal, they cause hate, they cause wars, they cause people to never love themselves because of one word or line that someone told them as a child. For some reason we repeat those words in our heads over and over, making it become “our story”. Why?
What if instead we used the 1,000 compliments that people have said to us to adopt as “our story”? What if we chose to never tell ourselves any bad story in our heads. Ever.
Let’s say for example that as a child your grandmother said “Wow, you’re getting thick” as she is hugging you. And so the body consciousness begins… So you put that “I’m Fat” story on replay in your head your whole life… So because of that “story” your reaction was, either you created an exercise routine and become heathy to prove them wrong or just gave up and became “fatter” to prove them right adding to and justifying the story saying “well that’s what they think of me anyways”. Either way you are reacting in resentment to the comment. Neither are the right choice.
What is “the story” you are telling yourself that is causing you to live a life of reaction and what resentful behaviors do you do because of them? You have it in your head right now, don’t be ashamed everyone has them. Write it down on a piece of paper. Write down all the resentful behaviors that you do in your life because of it as well.
So lets change the story, let’s access the whole picture, by changing the story, it removes the resentment. 1st of all, I have never seen a kid on the planet that doesn’t go through some sort of an “awkward phase”. 2nd your grandmother was probably saying it in love, either by complimenting you on how much you have grown and your strength (people were scrawny and unhealthy in her day) or maybe she is or was “thick” at some point and knows how disheartening it feels and doesn’t wish that on you because she cares about you. Maybe over your shoulder, She was looking at your scrawny cousin, wanting them to thicken up, or your even thicker dad, wanting him to slim down. hehehe!
Do you see what I’m doing here? It really doesn’t matter how you change it, just change it! If someone said something out of concern or love for you, or hey, maybe you was having a bad day and just took it the wrong way! Realize that it was a misunderstanding, it releases all the pressure and resentment behind it. Change the memory/story in your head, and free your heart from resentment and pain.
I will mention that 95% of people who live with a resentment story in their heads, all have “some story” from childhood. They have heard thousands of compliments since then but that one “story” is what they hold to. So be very careful what you say to a child, for they are just trying to figure out who they are, make sure you tell them all the amazing things they are.
Build a child up, for everything you say to them is a brick in their foundation and every time you knock them down, you create a crack. ~A. Radford
Teach them how to treat themselves by how you treat them. Teach them to find their strengths, by complimenting their strengths. Teach them that weaknesses are ok and that they are not flaws but challenges or lessons that they need to learn to become a strength as long as they don’t give up. Teach them to never settle, to beat the odds, teach them that comparison is poison, but competition is healthy, to be as good of a loser as they are a winner & that their biggest competition is themselves. That the best win is beating your own personal bests, to always strive to be a better person today than they were yesterday. Teach them to dream, to love, to play, to grow, to never give up. Teach them to live in action, not reaction. The best teacher is example. Kids will do what you do, no matter what you say!
Children are born with the try, try again mentality.
It’s the world that teaches them to quit.