Storms of life come and go just like the weather. Some days we are in the storm, I mean really in it… Deep. In. It… like being stuck in the world’s strongest hurricane… round and round it goes, and no one knows how to get off this merry-go-round– we certainly see more and more of that in today’s times. Then, other days are full of beautiful sunshine, rainbows, singing songbirds, good hair, and a gentle sweet-smelling breeze that makes our day even better than it was before. Butterflies and hummingbirds fly around us in all their majesty, reminding us that life is filled with beauty everywhere we look if only we looked for it more often. Then comes a day of cold, dreary rains, or even a day that feels like the rain cloud is only over our head, and our brains feel soggy. But, tomorrow will be a new day, and remember, it is on the bad days that we learn to appreciate the good ones! Whatever your weather or mood is today, remember we have the choice to always be grateful in it, even if that gratitude comes from knowing that better days are ahead and “this” is only temporary.
We always have the choice to be the sunshine in our storm.
When we are able to look at the bright side of things, we are able to help others see it as well. We have the choice to be the sunshine in someone else’s storm by sharing our silver linings with them. When we come across a person, who is being hounded by that dreary rain cloud over their head, we have the choice to offer them some of our sunshine until they can make their own. Send that old soggy cloud away with a nice breeze of words of encouragement or a compliment that might turn their whole day around. But, never give them more rain, because their rain got on your shoes.
It is not about giving back what we get from others,
it is about giving what they need…
what we need…
which is always kindness and Love.
Take a step back in compassion. You never know what others are going through. You never know how hard their day may have been. Maybe they got some terrible news with a capital C from the doctor, they lost a loved one or family member and do not know how to process it, their spouse just left them, they were up all night with a very sick child but can not afford to miss work, or they are covered with chronic pain and today’s a horrible day.
Just know that everyone is doing the best they can. We never know the struggles others have… But we can ask. We can care, we can get to know them, we may be the answer to their problem. Something so hard for them may be something so easy for us. The thing they need the most to help them right now maybe something that we have extra of. The person they may need to see may be our neighbor, our father, our friend. Just care enough to ask.
A kind word is a healing gift to the mind, body, and soul.
I really do my best never to judge others as I never know what their whole story is, nor the baggage they bear. I can not know how hard their life is or how hard it is to walk in their shoes. I do always try to put myself in their place to understand better what others are going through. We can never imagine the complexity of someone else’s life, trauma, or horror stories, nor can they understand ours.
According to what we understand by how our own lives are going, we can only assume, and even then, our assumption can only be based on what they allow us to see. What we think we know is true for them may be completely wrong, so it is never OK to judge anyone according to our own uneducated guesses; only God knows ALL of EVERYTHING. We could never even begin to understand it all; our heads would explode.
Instead of trying to guess or assume to judge, let’s let our hearts explode instead and cover them with love, grace, kindness, understanding. Get up close and ask how you can pray for them, help them, do something for them. Not out of pity, but out of love.
One thing I know for sure is that…
I know this because I was very judged growing up… because of who my family was, where I grew up, and how I always smelled like animals. After all, I lived on a farm. My family was very wild, to say the least, with lots of drugs, lots of abuse, and even a teenage pregnancy due to a rape. We have no control over who our parents are, nor the life they chose for us until we are old enough to get away from it. I would finally get brave enough to seek help from teachers and school counselors in my youth, only to not be dismissed or told that is what happens to girls… to toughen up or loosen up. Most people were afraid of my family, so they did nothing.
I have worked through YEARS of forgiveness, triggers, pain, and agony. PTSD is not only for soldiers; I know that is for sure. I can now say that I have forgiven and harbor no ill feelings towards them or anyone, mostly… but, every now and then, something triggers a lost seed inside that will try to sprout, and I have to pull that thorny bush out from roots very quickly, or it will take over and destroy me all over again.
The good side of it all is I learned so many lessons there. I learned who and what NOT to be. I learned how to understand most anything and everything that anyone has been through. I learned how to laugh, love, and keep going through the hardest of times, how to find the bright side, even if that light had to come from within.
I had to first forgive, then forgive again, and again and again; I had to thank the lessons and the inner muscles of life that it had built inside of me. Nobody knew my story or the pain I was in all through school, nor did they care enough to ask and possibly save me from years of trauma and the deep scars that remind me that I am still healing even today. They assumed they judged; they didn’t help. But I forgive them for that as well, because they did not know. They did not know the story; they did not know the pain I was in. They also didn’t know how to deal with their own stuff.
I did not know what they were going through either, and from my own pain being so big, I did not ask them how I could help them either. So for that, I ask forgiveness.
Shared pain lessens the burden. Help each other more, and hurt a little less. Shared pain also helps us know that we are not alone in this life. We may have different flavors of pain, but pain is pain, and it all hurts the same, and Love is the only thing that covers it, that heals it, that sends it away.
So save the judging for God, and God alone. Start loving instead like we’re supposed to do. You never know what someone is going through, and I absolutely guarantee that if you show them love at all times, no matter what, it will make whatever they’re going through a little easier to bear. Be the sunlight in someone’s storm.
P.S. Share your pain and struggles in the comments, and let’s all send each other sunshine and prayers. We are never, ever alone! I will pray for you and send you all my love from here. Please share this post, and let’s share each other’s pain. ❤️