Who is your biggest hero?
What is it about them makes them a hero to you?
And the real question is…
What qualities do you see in them that you see in yourself?
We have to be it to see it.
Everything we see inside of others is a reflection of something inside of us. If we are noticing a strength in someone, we have it. If we are noticing the problem in someone, we have it. It may be something that we have hidden deep inside of us. Sometimes we avoid certain people because we feel that if we stay around this person too long, it may come out and play!
All things we have inside are meant to flow through us.
When we hold something inside of us as a hostage, it becomes hostile. We MUST allow things to flow through us and not get hung up inside of us. When we have a strength inside that, we are hiding or ignoring; it gets mad that it has not been let out to play and becomes resentful. We should have noticed it and let it out of its cage to play and given it food, water, and sunlight to help it grow big and strong.
We never know what we are capable of until we explore every possibility inside, and most times, more than once! We have to shine a light in all the dark places to find out what we are truly capable of, as well as discovering that the monsters we thought were there were only shadows in disguise! Like a big scary shadow, that after you shined a light on it, turned out to be an old dirty sock. When we know which is which, we learn to give water to the things we wish to bloom and pull the weeds we wish to rid ourselves of. When we hide it or ignore a problem inside, it festers up and takes us over like kudzu. Killing everything else trying to live by overtaking it and robbing it of everything good. If we do not deal with our darkness, it becomes a cancer inside us and will eventually take us down. Serious, I know… But it really is!
So, pay attention to how you see people, how you feel about them, notice what you notice about them, be aware of what it brings up in you. If you did not have a seed of that kind inside, you wouldn’t even have a feeling or opinion about it.
Feelings are signals
of actions needing to be taken.
How we feel about someone, something, or ourselves are all seeds ready and willing to be planted and will grow if we let them. Some are good seeds, and others are bad seeds.
Only water what you want to grow!
There is a hero inside each and every one of us, and we are so much stronger than we ever thought imaginable, but unfortunately, most times, it takes a tragedy to bring it out in us to help us discover how strong we really are.
What if we could find out our strengths first and avoid the tragedies all together? Wouldn’t that be lovely? We can… for the most part!
By discovering who we are, we can live proactively, not reactively.
We have literally thousands of tiny seeds inside of us waiting to grow. Some good, some bad. All of our lives, seeds have been planted inside us, by ourselves, by others, by circumstances, by events, and by simply living. However, we are the ones choosing which ones grow and which ones don’t. We GET to choose which we feed and water, and which we pull out from the roots, so they do not overtake and kill our beautiful garden of life.
Not all seeds are good; some are briars and weeds. Ignored, they grow deep roots inside, and they become nearly impossible to remove. Yet we pull at them, and only the top comes off, leaving the roots to continue to grow, and we act surprised that it came back bigger, stronger, and meaner than before. Sometimes we have to dig a big ole deep hole to get every last ounce of that root of the problem out of us. Sometimes we have to go even further than the surface to find the source. That is ok. It is part of life; these shells we crack allow beautiful things to hatch!
What seeds do you have inside that are seriously needing water and sunlight and yet are having those things robbed from them by weeds we should have pulled out by the roots a long time ago?
Digging deep inside us sometimes feels like the scariest thing in the world, but it is not; it is instead the most freeing and empowering thing we can do for ourselves and others. Is it hard sometimes? Sure, but do you know what is harder? Carrying around pain every minute of every day, living in the agony of fear, as if it’s a boogie man waiting to devour you and everyone you love. Not knowing who you are or why you are how you are is much harder. Living as a stranger to yourself is one of the hardest things you could ever imagine doing in your whole life. So let’s stop being scared and face that shadow that isn’t a big scary monster after all!
Who can know us, I mean truly know us, if we don’t even know ourselves?
The answer is… No one.
And when no one knows us,
when no one knows who we are,
when we don’t truly know ourselves
that is the loneliest place you could ever live or be.
So, do you want to know how to become your own hero and diffuse that boogie man? Grab your shovel, and let’s start digging.
Now…. before we begin and you start beating yourself up over any weeds you uncover, you first put on your love goggles. As a matter of fact, you should leave them on… like… for…ev…errrrr! But for real, there is no judgment allowed here, no negative feelings about any of it.
Just do the work, answer the questions, and let the answers be what they are, for now, simple words on a page. Know that none of these so-called labels define you, have power over you, or own you. You have the choice to keep or discard anything you choose when we are done!
Imagine that you are planting your garden.
- You are picking out all the good seeds you want to plant.
- You separate the good seeds from the bad weeds trying to sneak into your beautiful garden.
- You pull the weeds from the roots, digging deep in the soil and breathing new life into it so that it can give your good seeds all the nutrients they need to grow big and strong, thrive, and reproduce more good things.
Are you ready to plant your garden of life?
PLANT THE SEEDS, PULL THE WEEDS!
Grab 3 sheets of paper
- Write out 5 people who you think are heroes. Write what about them you like, write out what about them you dislike.
- Next, list 5 people who are the opposite of heroes to you, boogie men. People whom you would never want to be like, weeds in your garden of life. Those who you would never want to become and why. Write out the qualities you see inside them that scare you, disdain you, or repulse you!
- Now, write out your own qualities. One category is your hero qualities; the other is your boogie men inside. Remember, if you saw it in someone else, chances are that it is something inside you that either needs to grow or needs to be pulled out.
- Separate the weeds from the good seeds.
HOW TO GET THE ROOTS
Look at your list. What hero qualities can you grow, and how can you grow them. Start with 5 qualities that you can start adding into your days this week; then next week, add 5 more until all of these qualities are used every day somewhere so that you can build their muscles up and give them food and water.
As for the weeds… Pick out one. The biggest one will do the most damage so let’s start there. Where did this seed come from? Do you know the source of it? Where did it start? Ask yourself why like a child, a million times until you uncover the root of the weed. Then, and only then, will you be able to pull it out and never face it again.
Let me give you an example. Say you do not like a certain person because they are rude. Ask yourself all sorts of questions to discover the true problem. The question is NOT Why are they rude; it IS; why does it bother me? Why is it affecting me? Why is their behavior affecting mine? We can not control others; we can only control ourselves, our actions, and our reactions. We can choose ahead of time how to handle things if they are a repeat occurrence. Instead of being mad about something we knew would happen and pining over it for hours, months, and years on end.
Here are some other questions you can ask. What about them feels rude to you? Why do you think they are rude? The real question here is, how do they make you feel and why?
Go deeper. Was there a time when you felt like you were rude to someone and it hurt their feelings that maybe you need to apologize for? Was there a time that someone was rude to you publicly, and it embarrassed you so badly that you wanted to run and hide?
From all the people I have worked with and went through these exercises with, almost always the source of someone being rude to them was not about the person at all, but more about how the person made them feel. Less than, unworthy, gross, not good enough, guilty, unimportant, angry at self for not being enough are all words used when describing how this rude person made them feel. And so we found the root. Now it is time to pull it. Never let anyone make you feel less than, never let anyone make you feel guilty for being who you are. If you want to do better with your life and be something you are proud of, do it, but do it for you, NOT for anyone else.
Some of the best advice I have been given, and that I pass forward onto you is…
”Never take the opinion or advice of someone you wouldn’t trade places with.”
If someone is so insecure that they need to put others down or pretend they are above or better than anyone else, then their problems are far bigger than yours. No one is better than anyone else, and we are just all trying to do the best we can. So what words do you need to tell yourself to jerk that root right out of your soul?
I am worthy.
I am enough.
I am smart.
I am important.
I am love.
I am loved.
They are love, and they need to be Loved.
Let me know what roots ya dig up from this one, or leave a comment need help uncovering or digging deeper into your beautiful garden to pull the weeds out!