Oh, the little monsters inside our heads who are constantly at war with us. We all know them very well… We talk about them with our friends and family, we call them out by name. You know who I’m talking about. The shame monsters, their names are: Need-to, Should, Wish-I, Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda, Can’t, Too, and Didn’t-Have-Time to. They’re horrid little monsters and should never be let out of their cages. When they join our party, they bring with them sides of shame, guilt, low self-worth, low self-esteem, and they will try to eat our self-love monster for breakfast.
They grow bigger and bigger by the hour if we allow them. They whisper horrible lies in our ears, abuse our brains and bruise our hearts. They like to keep us low because that makes them feel bigger and tougher. That’s how abuse works. It makes the abuser feel powerful when they really are not. The more they abuse us, the more powerful they feel they become. But the truth is,
The more anyone abuses anyone the smaller they themselves become.
But, don’t worry, WE HAVE THE POWER, they don’t! We have the power to squash them. We have the power to silence them. We have the power to win. Every. Single. Time.
How? Don’t wake them up. Don’t call their name. Don’t allow them to live within you. Kick them out. Remove them. Starve them. Tell them they are not welcome here anymore.
Start by taking action. Starting your day off right is a huge help. Do you know what starting the day off right does? It lets the monsters that plague us sleep in. If you get off track in the day, start again, choose again, silence them again. They will eventually sleep forever if you stop calling on them. And before you know it, they will be strangers to you and you to them. Action cures anxiety, it squashes monsters, it heals the soul.
Wake up, do positive things, listen to positive things, read positive things.
If we make good choices and do all the “need to’s” ahead of time, then there is no ground for any guilt monsters to stand on. Start each day with a workout, a chapter of an empowering book, a meditation, a good healthy breakfast. Do it all before our craziness in the day begins; it changes everything! It sweeps the shoulda, too-busy, too-tired and need-to monsters immediately out the door for the whole, entire day. Having them gone make you feel lighter and clearer for the rest of the day! They are not clanging their obnoxious and loud cymbals of lies, unworthiness, and shame in your head and draining your energy all day!
You may be used to feeling them nagging at you all day, jumping up and down in your head, throwing fits, and draining your energy, but the moment you kick them out, you will feel 200 times better! You won’t spend the day saying, “I shoulda done this, I need to do that, I’m too tired and busy to do it now.” It’s such a relief!
If you allow those little kid monsters to get out of hand, creating a ruckus inside of you, they will wake up the parents. Their names are “not good enough” and “not worth it.“ These guys are serious grumps. The kid monsters have woke them up because you allowed their nonsense in your head, and now they are coming to take what’s left of you. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
But, fear not, They are all bark and no bite. They use their shadows to make them seem bigger and scarier to gain power over you. But the truth is, they have no power that YOU DON’T ALLOW them to have at all.
Action is what makes them smaller. Action turns off the flashlights they are using to look big and scary. Action is what takes away the things that fuel them. Action is what shows you their true size. And although they are small, they are HEAVY! We need to feed the right monster that can take care of them for us.
Action is what feeds our Self-love Monster. Action is what makes him bigger and stronger than any little brat inside. He is our protector; he is our friend. With every act of kindness, empowerment, and self-love we do to, and for ourselves, he grows larger and larger until he looms over the little scary guys, and they run away scared instead. When the self-love monster is full-size, we are able to let it all go; he has got us, he will protect us, and when those old shame monsters come a knocking, he will immediately turn them away.
He frees us from battling the bullies
so that we can get out of our head
and into our heart and
serve the world in our overflow of love.
Without kindness in us, we can not give kindness to others.
When we are filled and plagued with guilt and shame on the inside, that is what we allow from others. It is also what we give others from us. For what’s inside flows out. Fill up with love. ❤️ Self-love helps us love the world!
The good book says We are to love others as ourselves. Not more than, not less than, as. What’s inside is what we give the world. Choose love.
Beat the bully, don’t be the bully
Get honest… If your self-talk is not as nice as it should be, it is time to take out the monsters, clean the house, ask yourself forgiveness and choose new thoughts. When you hear them calling you, choose again. Self-abuse is just abuse. If you wouldn’t say it to someone else, why say it to yourself? God made us beautiful, handcrafted each of us perfectly to how we are meant to be. How dare we insult his masterpiece! 😱😱 Choose better words, choose better thoughts, choose love, choose again. Stop letting the bully monsters win!
Each time we give ourselves a compliment, it’s a hit on the bad monster and food for the good monster. Each time we insult ourselves, it’s food for the bad monster and a hit on the good monster. It’s sort of like the story of The Old Cherokee Legend of the Two Wolves; it goes as follows…
An old Cherokee Indian is teaching his grandson about life.
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves.
One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
“The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness,
benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
So I ask you, Which monster will you feed? The one that destroys you or the one that grows you as you grow it?