You are the Victor « BetterMeTribe

Imagine if everyone in the world adopted this one simple idea as their go-to mentality, “I am the victor, not the victim.

IT WOULD CHANGE THE WORLD. Imagine the difference one simple shift of mindset could make. Suddenly everyone has a can-do attitude, a challenge-accepted action plan, a confidence that can not be broken, walking taller, head up higher, hearts open and not closed off!

Everyone taking ownership of everything they have or haven’t done to get to where they are right now in this very moment. We would all be owning our own lives, taking responsibility for our own junk, as well as our wins. Making conscious choices knowing that if we aren’t happy that we have the power to change that. Because we do.

We have the power to change anything
and everything around us, at all times.

Have you been living the life of a victim? Blaming everyone else for shortcomings, downfalls, and everything in between? Are you blaming them for your successes to? Probably not. A true victim blames 100% of the time. No one is a part-time victim, we can’t be. We either are or we aren’t. And the truth is, we aren’t. Yes, sometimes bad things happen but there is no need to carry that moment farther on than the moment it happened. Forgive what needs forgiving, Learn the lesson that needs learning, send it love to heal all that it hurt, and bless and release it. The quicker we can do this the faster we can heal and move on.

A victim mindset is a broken mentality.

We have to turn our “Victim Stories” into “Victory stories.” To BECOME THE OVERCOMER. We have to turn those victim thoughts around and use them to strengthen us, as our strengths instead of our excuses.

We are not the victims anymore.
We are NOW the heroes of our own story!

Once we reach the age of accountability we become responsible for our own lives, our own choices, our own thoughts, our own feelings. No one can make us think, say, or do anything that we don’t want to do. We are the boss of us. Circumstances do not matter in the big picture of things. We choose our reactions, our thoughts around circumstances and our lessons that we learn from each of them. We choose how we feel about everything when we make the choice to choose it! It’s all a mindset game that we choose to win or we will lose every moment of every day.

We are not the Victims in our world.

We are the Victors!

There should be no blame, no hate, no excuses within us. Instead, just think and accept things as they are. Such as: “Yes, that happened, that sucked but it’s over now, that was something I needed so that I could learn that lesson and become stronger,” or “Yep, I didn’t do my best there, I could have done better, this is a lesson and I accept it. I will do better next time,” or even “Yes I did that, I did my best and I earned this reward for it. It was awesome, I am super proud of myself and this feels amazing. No one did this but me- This is also a lesson and I accept it as well.”

Imagine a world with no blame, no hate, no excuses, and everyone recognizing what it takes to get where they want to be, to be successful and to own it and appreciating each other and the work each of us are doing in this world with a high five and a nod of respect because we know… we know the blood, sweat, and tears it takes to win at life. And we applaud anyone and everyone who works at it and makes it.

A victim mindset makes excuses instead of changes.

A victim does not high five a successful person, they hate on them. A victim will ignore the hard work it takes to be successful and instead makes excuses of why the person didn’t deserve whatever they got, and also why they do deserve it but didn’t get it. They will cut them down, insult them, and treat them badly because that is what their own personal war inside of them is doing. This successful person reminds them that they didn’t try their best, they didn’t give it their all. This successful person reminds them of their shortcomings and that makes them angry at themselves inside. Instead of being happy for them, they call them all the ugly things that they are calling themselves on the inside.

It’s not a success problem, it’s a self-love problem.

We can not love and appreciate others when we can’t give our self that same courtesy of love, compassion, and grace. Success means different things to different people. To me, success means working hard and succeeding at whatever dreams you have, it could be work or career-related, or body and health-related, it could be passion and purpose-related. It just means someone is taking their life by the horns and owning it, working for it and winning. It doesn’t mean they never lost, it means that they lost far more times than others but kept getting back up and trying again. Here are a few examples, Let’s see if you have the victim or victor mindset… What do you think in these situations?

Victim or Victor Mindset?

In Business:

When someone gets the big promotion that you have been wanting… Do you:

A. Plan ways to undermine, gossip or demean them saying things like… “that person only got the job/promotion because…. (insert whatever non-empowering derogatory excuse here – like – they are good-looking, slept their way to the top, because their family is one of prestige, the boss likes them more etc, etc.)”

Let’s face it those snarky comments only apply to 1% of people in the world who advance on not so honest circumstances, and do you really want to work for a place that is like that if those were true? No, of course not. Plus, if the person doesn’t deserve the job, they won’t be able to do it for long, no matter how good-looking they are and they will lose it and you will your chance to be more prepared for it. Better start now. Put in the work, become the best option. Earn it.

B. You recognize that that person did the work and deserve it. You applaud them for their fair run in the game and use their example to grow to become what you need to become to get where you want to be. You recognize what you need to instill in your life the habits you need, to be ready for the next promotion offer knowing that another will open up and you will be more prepared for it this time. You respect them and want to learn from them. You saw them working 97 grueling hours a week for months to get where they are. They came in early, worked late, ate, sleep, and breathed the job. They took the extra classes, courses, or meetings they needed to learn more and turn their weaknesses into strengths. They earned it through their own sacrifices, blood, sweat, and tears.

Can you guess which one was which?

A. Victim Mindset B. Victor Mindset- Where are you?

In fitness/health/beauty: You see a beautiful, fit person and instantly…

A. …insults come to mind. “They were born like that, woke up like that. They have never been fat, they don’t understand, they need to eat more, they must use drugs. Or personal attacks, “they must be insecure to need that much make-up,” “they must be vain, or a narcissist because they keep taking selfies.” (victim mindset)

The victim will not own that they have not put in the work, chose the right foods, spent the time to do the hair and makeup that the other person has.

Beauty and fitness is a form of self-love. When we put the work into our look, we feel better. We show up for the world in a more confident, caring and powerful way. So, wake up an hour earlier, fix up, do the work and share your beauty with the world. There are thousands of studies that prove people who workout, dress up, and fix-up are more present in the rest of their lives, creating better relationships and more open and accepting to opportunities, creating a greater chance for success. They show up for themselves and for others. Studies also say people who take care of themselves are more trusted with bigger responsibilities. “If someone takes care of themselves they are more capable of taking care of others and other things. Someone who doesn’t take care enough to care for themselves, show that they don’t care about life, and is proving to be incapable of taking on more responsibility. When they can’t do the simple things, they can’t do the big things.” Fix up and Show up for you, your future will thank you for it.

A victim will never own the fact
that they didn’t do the work to reach the goal.

or…You see a beautiful, fit person and instantly…

B. …You compliment them. “Dang!! You must have spent so much time in the gym to have muscles like that.” “That’s impressive.” “Your hair and makeup are on point, show me how to do that,” or “You are so beautiful for who you are thank you for showing up for you and sharing your beauty with the world and lighting up our lives today.” (Victor Mindset)

You get the picture.

A. Victim Mindset B. Victor Mindset- Where are you?

Can you make a commitment to start complimenting everyone? Appearance, mindset, success doesn’t matter. Compliment everyone in every way. Compliments make people feel better and in turn, they show up better for the world. Compliments make the whole world a better place. We all need it. We are all trying our best. And believe it or not, beautiful people are often treated worse. Send them love. Send everyone love, just because, including yourself.

Victims Gossip- Victors Compliment

It should NEVER be overlooked how hard people work to get where they are. They get up earlier, worked harder, they eat the greens, they by-pass the burger, they are fixated on a goal and their whole life shows it. Applaud that. Learn from it. Take the example of it. Own it. Own your goals.

The difference between success and failure
is dedication.

It’s time to live in a world where we all just OWN OURSELVES! We would all learn the lessons and accept each other for who they are and who they are trying to become. We would all be like…

The hustle in me honors and respects the hustle in you.

No one can do this for you, to you, but you–

It is 100% necessary for us to take
100% responsibility for everything in our lives.
The good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly,
because this is what makes everything and everyone beautiful to us.

Everything we take ownership for allows us to be taught something amazing from it. Our lessons don’t only come mistakes. They also come in the WINS! However…

We can not learn any lesson
in anything that we do not take responsibility for.

When we stop blaming others for things, we start gaining our power back. This world doesn’t owe anyone anything, it has already given everything to us freely. But, we owe the world our very best for all it’s done for us without ever asking for anything from us, we need to be giving more than we are taking. We owe ourselves the chance to succeed at everything. And we owe each other our best self so that everyone can know that they too have permission to succeed!