You be You

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What do you think it means to be your true self?

To me, being one’s true self means being the same person, no matter who you are around, no matter where you are or what you’re doing. Being one’s true self means we never have to “act”.

Our integrity, manners, attitude, morals, demeanor, all the things that make us, us are the all the same, all the time.

So many times we feel we have to be this way for this person/place and that way for that person/place.  But we shouldn’t feel that way. We are who we are. Yes, we can become better than we are— always, and should always be striving to be better tomorrow than we were today. But, we should never feel we have to pretend, not for anyone or anything. (And its never ok to be a jerk… just saying. Manners and respect of others always apply.)

Be Classy and You’ll be a Classic!

People may think they know us but, what they actually only see in us, the limited amount we allow them to see. We pretend to be what we think they want to see, and that is all that we show them…

Is that being our true self?
Is that being true to them?
Is that even being true to ourselves?
Definitely not.

You be you and I’ll be me. ~ James Bay

Who wants to hang around a bunch of fakes anyways? Should we even want to be with someone we feel we have to be fake around to impress? I hope not, instead let’s go find true friends, true loves, true tribes. Look for the people who appreciate our flaws and see them as our beauty. We all deserve nothing less!!

We all see people who change who they are to try to impress others, and we all see them get hurt in the end. We simply can’t lead fake lives, or pretend forever. Do we really want someone to fall in love with a fake us anyways? NO! Let them see the real us!

If they don’t like the TRUE US, then they are not FOR US!

No one will never be happy living a fake life, eventually the real life and the fake life collide, and its usually fatal for the relationship. Be true. From the beginning. Its the same for friendships, romantic relationships, jobs, team mates, everything. Be you.

People tend to never give 100% of their true selves, to anyone, ever. WHY?

Trust is the number one answer here. But is it trust in ourselves that we question or trust in others? That is a big question isn’t it? We tend to only show people what we want them to see in us, or think of us, or even how we wish them to feel about us.

Is that really being our true selves?

Most of us are so guarded we only allow maybe 30% of what is inside to ever be seen, by anyone, and that is such a shame. We are so much more beautiful and complex than anyone could imagine! Even if we gave someone 50% of our true selves to someone… they would only see what they want to see and even then it is usually only a reflection of they see in themselves anyways, so now you’re down to 20%.

I asked a lovely couple I met the other day who had been married 60 years this question… “What is one thing in your life you wished you had done, that maybe you would like to do now?” The hard working Lawyer of nearly 65 years says boldly with dreamy eyes and an intriguing smile, “I would love to play the piano!” His wife gasped in shock! “THE PIANO!!!” she yelled. “Why, you don’t even like me to play the radio!!!”

One would think that surely after 60 years of marriage that tidbit would have surfaced. But apparently not, there was still yet things to uncover about each other. She had never asked “that” question. What questions are we not asking ourselves. Truth is we don’t even truly know ourselves 100%. Start asking questions of yourself and of others you would like to get to know. The answers may just surprise you!

So… back to the question… why don’t we open up 100% to others? Why are we holding back? Is it them we don’t trust or us? Truth is, it’s us. We hate to admit that we are feeling insecure, it feels like such a shameful word. We feel that if we share this part of us with the world, that they might not like it and end up hurting us some how. What if they don’t… What if they love it?

What if that part of you is the part that changes the world!

Maybe people in the past did hurt you, that doesn’t mean future people will.  No. Maybe it was not about you, it was about them. We shouldn’t hang out with people who will hurt us, NOR should we ASSUME anyone will because someone else did!

Hurt people, hurt people.

It is not your fault. Forgive them, you don’t know what was going on inside of them. If someone doesn’t like you then, love them and release them, and LET THEM GO! I mean definitely don’t hang out with people you can’t trust. But don’t Assume you can’t trust anyone. Don’t be places or with people whom you have to “pretend” around. But, don’t ASSUME that you do have to pretend around anyone either.

Stop Pretending, Stop Assuming. Let the real you shine through!

We should allow ourselves to live fully, to lead with our hearts, loving everyone 100% To truly live we must stop holding back and let our full self shine! Stop caging our true spirit. No one has caged that thing but you! Let it out!! Love fully, Live fully, Shine fully, be your true self fully.

Your life can’t be at 100% until you give 100%..

…to the world, to your relationships, to your God & spirituality. Then and only then will you be able to live life at 100% AWESOMENESS.

Will the real (insert name here), please stand up?

When we allow ourselves to be 100% true to who we are and love all the things about us that makes us, us, and we allow ourselves to share it with others, and we allow them to love us 100% back.

People can only love us in the amount we allow them to,
and in the amount that we love ourselves.

Stop. Holding. Back.

Teach others to love what makes us different
by loving what makes them different!

Think about the coolest person you know. Do they apologize for being themselves? HECK NO! They are just are who they are, unapologetically! They don’t care if someone doesn’t like something about them… because they know THE SECRET!!!

If you love things about yourself others will love them too!!!

I mean sure, if we are at a new job or around new people, we tend to ease in and test the waters. That is totally normal, and yes some people we are more comfortable around than others, as well.

When we share our true selves and shine as brightly as possible, it gives people PERMISSION to do the same! When we are happy with who we are, others will be happy with who we are as well! ALL OF US… not this part and that part. When we give everyone our 100% we finally ALLOW ourselves to be whole! When we are a whole package no one can pick any one thing out. When we accept ourselves as a whole, so will everyone else. They wont be able to nit pick anything! Isn’t that wonderful!!

You ARE AN ENTIRE PACKAGE!
Each part is just as important as the rest!
You are the Real Deal! The Cats Meow!
The Diamond in the Rough.
QUIT HIDING AND LET IT SHINE!!!

Because Babe… You really are the greatest!

So…the what really makes you, you? Can you name them? What makes you different from me, or from everyone else? What makes your heart tick? What makes you feel alive inside. What makes you smile a smile that no one and nothing can stop?

WRITE IT: What makes YOU different from others and why do those things make you beautiful? WRITE IT DOWN! Try to get to 100 things. 100… I know… that seems like a lot.. at first… it will take you at least 50 to start to dig deep, let’s face it, you’re pretty awesome, 10 just isn’t enough!!

Find ALL the things that make you, you. This is a NO HATE ZONE my friend!! Write down all things in a positive light, even if its something you don’t love about yourself, lets learn to love all things about ourselves, especially those that set us apart from the rest!

Write down the things that make YOU beautiful, unique, special. These are your ingredients for the secret amazing recipe of you! The things you write down are not just physical things, they’re mental things, spiritual things, things that defines your character, the way you think. It’s the way you laugh, the way you love, the way you share, the things you like, the little things as well as the big things. Your eyes, your hair, your skin, your freckles… they are unlike any one else. They are you!

No two people are exactly the same.
And that is what makes us ALL Beautiful!

Check out that list of awesomeness right there!! There is something about each and every one of these ingredients that make up your amazingness. These are only some of the things that make you special in your very own way. Go as far as you can and try to get to 100! If you go past that then Congrats, YOU ROCK! The things we learn to love about ourselves are the ingredients to living a happy and fulfilled life.

EXPERIMENT TIME!!! Let’s see what others have to say about us. Here is your assignment… if you choose to accept… Get a new sheet of paper, go find some good family and friends and ask them…

“What qualities, traits or features do you think make me stand out and make me me?”

WRITE THEM DOWN.

Chances are it will be stuff completely different than what you see in yourself! Just ask them- (don’t ask a jerk, you will get a jerk answer!) But, GO around and ask everyone you know, until you get 100 unique and different answers of things about yourself that people see that makes you you. If someone likes the same feature, the reason may not be the same, so ask what they like about that quality. One may like your eyes for the color, the other may like how they light up when you laugh.

Compare your two sheets. Are they the same, I’m sure some may be but most are not. How much did you learn about yourself in this Study? Lets see if we can make them match by being your true self 100% of the time.

Vow to NEVER ACT or PRETEND again!

Let us know in the comments what you found out about yourself! I’ll bet it will be that you found out that you’re pretty stinking awesome!

BONUS POINTS: This one is sooooo exciting!!!! Get a third sheet and go to a busy place and ask perfect strangers to take a part in this study. Ask them what positive things they see in you at first sight. What kind of person they feel you are? (not think- feel) Ask them what they think makes you different from others in this world! Get as many as you can! Make sure to return the favor to them as well, it may just brighten their whole life! Tell them about this experiment and have them try it too. Send them to us! Let us know what happens!!!

Now that we have learned to identify
these beautiful qualities in ourselves let’s make sure
to recognize them in others as well.

 

LIFE LESSON: Be your true self, and allow others to do the same. Love ALL the differences in others. Say someone has wild hair, or mad style, LOVE THAT ABOUT THEM! Compliment people on their differences and tell them you appreciate them enhancing their own uniqueness.

Wouldn’t the world be so boring if we were all the same? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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